weekend 26 & 27 April

last saturday, i went orchard meaning to find a dinner dress for anna's wedding next month.
i have finally decided to give away my little black dresses which i had only worn mostly once, always for some dinner functions and never repeated. one red dress worn for simon's wedding. one black one for nancy's wedding, one super-duper halter zip front dress for joo yann's company's D&D, gosh, that was like some fifteen years ago. it is still in good condition but i couldn't zip up anymore. gosh, i must really let go of my materials and pass it on to someone who could benefit. but oh, so much memory i have of my clothes. i can remeber every story behind every piece. the event, the year, or the reason. how eventful my life has been.

so anyway, i went to far east plaza to have my late lunch at 3pm. the little muslim stall at a corner, the beehoon soto is fabulous. asia bagus, i tell the lady. haha. i dont know why but i have been mistaken for a malay many times. after my fabulous soto, i stumbled onto a store that has good material clothings at fantastic prices. $10, $20 & $25 for most pieces. this navy blue stripe skirt was $20 while the top was $5. some cheap thrill i would say. i bought so many pieces that i eventually went home without getting the real dinner dress. so much of a distraction. brendan asked why i must always buy a new dress for every wedding dinner i go to. i dont know. i guess it is important for me to feel dressy. especially so when i feel that a wedding is a significant event. it is like the commitment of the lifetime kind of important. so i am always respectful of the event i guess.

so anyway, i still got to continue to shop till i get the dress i am satisfied with for anna's wedding.
i saw her grow up in front of my eyes, so ya, her wedding is big deal for me. i could still remember her when she was four months old, four years old and now, 28 yrs old. like my sis. oh im getting mushy.

sunday

i wanted to tell you this,

if you're feeling poor, it has nothing to do with the vast amounts of money that is out there, though you're feeling poor.

if you're feeling lonely, it has nothing to do with the millions of people out there. but you're feeling lonely.

some people say that they are broke, in singapore, they say "money not enough". but my CD lecture says, "money is not enough for you, it has nothing to do with the vast amounts of money out there, just that they're not yours". it has to do with your self-worth, self-esteem & self-deserving.

it says-- there are billions of people on the planet and yet, we have people saying they are lonely.

ya, sometimes, i feel lonely.

the lecture says that it is because we don't let them in. let others come in.

i don't know. is it really like that?

i don't know why am i so selective about people. i don't know why my new friend could just tag along me to shop while i just want to shop alone. i don't know why my new friends invite me to go for a holiday with them while i ponder about it. i don't know why if no one wants to join me, i would still do things on my own. i don't know why most of the time, i like to be alone. or why sometimes at gatherings, i still feel so alone.

i do not understand how new friends could have an outing just to go eat something at a restaurant.
i do not know what common topics do new friends have that can bring them beyond new.
i do not know why i am lonely when i have so many people around me.
i do not know why i like to be alone. sometimes. most times.

Re-made

black dress $10. throw in my old mini cardi for a new look.
i had packed this mini cardi to be given away but i picked it back from the bag.
that bag had been sitting in my spare room for the past 3 months as my cupboard had too much clothing, i had to get some out. thought of giving some clothes to yihui but she said she has many clothes now and do not need. most clothes are too good to be given to the rag-and-bone man, so i'm still contemplating what to do with them....

Dress

psychadellic retro dress $10

far east plaze level 4

Flats

i have many pairs of shoes, mainly flats cos i can no longer take heels. the calf muscle(s) would cramp at the most improper time, hence i only wear heels for an occasion. i envy those women who look sexy in killer heels but i have given that up. not my league anymore.

CNN

Cousin-News-Network

Weekend 19 - 20 April

I had a wonderful time last weekend, checked-in at Hotel Intercontinental at Bugis for our cousin-gathering-anna's-hen-party.

our CNN (cousin-news-network) that day consisted:-
magdelene, suzan, james, feng ling, (son- li yang), loo sin, joo yann, anna, wanyu, janice, PJ, jian hua, wan jin, yi hui, my sis & i.

all mothers wanted to come but all children told them NO.

we had so much fun and laughter that the guest next door had to come over to warn us to keep our volumne down. it is really hard to contain our laughters and i feel bad having to control the noise level. well, the next time, i must get a place where we can create as much din without problem. we played card game- heart-attack, the silent version and laughed till our jaws hurt.
it is just so funny and i wished it can go on forever. well, no. i am happy with the fantastic good memory, so it does not have to last forever.
we tried to make anna drink lots of beer and wine with forfeits but i think my cousin loo sin got most of it.

my body is really not that well,,, i was rather tired and felt low energy by midnight. normally i could play till 3 or 4 in the morning but this time, i really had to rest. i retreated to rest but couldn't sleep till very very late.

the next morning we went for breakfast at macdonalds. went up to the room and played card game "24". my bunch of cousins are mental nuts who like mental games. i had to sharpen my mind to keep up but in the name of fun i was a good sport.

i must say that it is very nice of jian hua, the youngest of the lot, to stay over despite his sis & brother have gone home. i mean, he is the only guy hanging with us girls, and that, to me, is effort. we must always make an effort to cultivate relationship. so, i am appreciative of his gesture really.

so anyway, the bunch of bride's maid for anna has successfully select a nice flowly dress which they will all wear an identical piece. interesting, i would love to see all of them together with anna.

My new colleague

this is SY, my new colleague from accounts department.

she is i think.,,,23? and is married but her chinese customary wedding is in december this year.

i like this picture very much and asked her to blue tooth me.

Nice huh?

Shopping

went shopping for addy's BD present
it's been a year since i last met her. last year, i bought her a chomel chain-belt which i liked very much too but they were left with one.
now that my office is at semi-ulu west coast area, it is tough for me to go town to meet my friends frequently. not to mention the public transport in Singapore is getting from bad to worse. crowded almost everytime and anytime.

one visit to town, im set back by $220.
bought some key chains with personalized names for peter-my GM, jac- my accounts colleague, jonathan- my "assistant" cum boss' newphew, cum colleague. and helen- my mother!
i didn't know that the key chains double up as "trolley token",, you know,, you need to stick a token to remove the trolley at the supermarket. that token. bought a BD card for addy, some black eyeshadow (with sparkles) and a mascara $91. one set of eyeshadow for meeself, one river island top $89. oh, and one ultra sweet-looking ball point pen. it's only like 2 inches long, so slim and small, plus it's olive green!! $8.90.

Key Chain

Key Chains for my colleagues

For Work

one for the money, two for the road, three for work. (mindless)

i am sorry, i have to go do some slimming thingy the lazy way.

i would probably go to the chinese practitioner at holland v for a slimming package.

i couldn't fit my pants now! *sob* and i have to get like a size 10!!! from a size 6/8 you know.

i apologise because i am normally for excercising over slimming centres but i am too damn lazy to do it the sweaty way......

Kucing Kolo Mee

on tuesday, Jac brought packets of home cooked kuching laksa to work

she was on leave but she took a cab from home to bring us her mom's cooking

how could we not eat

i'll tell you, my office is one jumble of politicking but at the same time,

one bundle of ....... i'll just say friendship.

i couldn't make sense of them. one minute they hate each other, the next minute, they are spontaneously supportive of each other. i don't blame my boss for being puzzled and always like tip toeing on tight rope. anyway, i must tell you, jac's mom specially made the noodles for us.

the noodle is none other than the authentic kuching kolo mee, springy, chewing and has egg fragrance.yummy. the laksa gravy tasted more like curry, but light curry. shredded chicken. not heavy to the taste, so it's just lightly nice.

SY asked me why i keep taking photos on food. i said not just food, i am taking "生活点滴" trickles of life. i mean,, these are little things that make up an otherwise mundane day.

i have made a point to make a footnote on all the nice things and learn from all the not-so-nice-things in my life.

laksa will remind me of Alaska. she told me many people call her laksa. not as a joke but they thought she mis-spelt her name. goodness gracious singaporeans.

then my cousin told me, when she worked part time in a chinese restaurant in australia, many patrons pointed to her that they mis-spelt laksa on the menu, they said it should be alaska.

at least that is pardonable cos they are not asian and may not be familiar with a local dish. so much so for Laksa and Alaska.

Charlie's Corner

I have not been to "charlie's corner" at changi point but i have heard about the place from my colleague who says that was her dating place.

so, last saturday, we went. not specially for the place but we don't know what else to eat but had to eat and since we were at the east, we might as well go somewhere east. nothing to rave about it's chicken wings, i thought they could be better. sausage and calamari was good. lime juice in frosted beer mug was also good.

Breakfast

what kind of "breakfast person" are you?

i am a pastry & coffee breakfast person

my colleagues could eat things like a whole pack of bee hoon for breakfast.

i couldn't

i never used to take breakfast until just a few months ago, kind of forced myself to make a point to have at least some cereal.

on saturdays, i will have my my usual set of "peng loh ti" toast, 2 half boiled eggs and a cuppa coffee. $2.20 at my market stall. same old thing week after week. i don't know why i keep eating at the same stalls every time. peng loh ti brings me good memory of my father. i always remember when i was young, we shared a set of peng loh ti with milo. my dad would pour some milo on the saucer and i would drink like a cat. no lah. joking. we would walk from home to killiney road to have breakfast. then, continue our journey to cuppage market where my mom worked. my mom was always working day and night. she has only one day of rest, that is the CNY day one. so, i don't have much memory of leisure time with my mother. the only events i remember of her was that she was tired, needed to rest, or that she was sobbing her heart out about the problems she had. so much so that i grew up really a little screwed up up there. but hey, i am not just fine now but i am great. i always feel that i couldn't have been such at ease with myself now had i not gone through my emotional and mental challenges. i am always thankful for them as i have gain such perspective few others would have. so, ok, back to my dad. food brings memory because it is to do with taste, smell (olfactory) and gastronomies. when i was young, i remember going to the old, old people's park / chinatown / bukit ho swee areas with my dad for firstly, our all time favourite Or Luak! and char kway tiao. dad would portion one fifth for me while he wolfed down his share. we always shared a plate and eat from a plate. he would just get me an extra pair of chopsticks. we would always pass by those motorized mobile cars in shapes of Aeroplane, police motorbike and racing car. 20 cents a ride, circling the area. i would beg to watch. i know i have no chance to get a ride. most of the time i watched. 20 cents was a lot of money in 1977, 78 i guess. i think a plate of or luak was probably 80 cents or less? i grew up with poverty mentality which was hard to break but i am glad i broke it, although sometimes some old fear lurks in the shadow. my dad was a movie buff and i remember going to the cinemas countless times. capitol at the city hall was our favourite. all the james bond, jaws, and chinese kung fu movies i watched. i would always beg for some sweets but the only sweet i get is the black halls in orange plastic wrapper, the hottest of the lot, cos that was the sweet my dad carried most of the time.

Community Bonding

i think it is really not easy running a country, even as small as singapore.

if not for the no nonsense approach, i think we could not move forward.

i was at bedok last saturday, at brendan's mom's place.

there was road block just in front of the block and i guessed it must be some "government" event. who else could afford to block a stretch of road and re-direct traffic. it would have cost a lot, plus all the license to apply.

so anyway, there was a community event.

i observed that the circus in town was not the usual "run down" ones but quality equipments, floats and look at that! a float pool with "bumper boats" paddled and propelled manually with hands. and hey hey! ala formula one go-cartts!

is that our money?

for community bonding?

i guess if i were there having a jolly good time, i would have excellent comments.

i used to run a recreation club at my first job.

i was new, young and decisive when it comes to planning.

i was given a budget for the whole year and i could propose and execute any recreational activities. i tried to have a balanced mix of indoor and outdoor recreations, we had day trips to malacca, batam, bowling sessions, karaoke nights, in-house movies (the LCD player was stolen when we moved office and they never returned me one!) grooming & etiquette workshops and many more. after 2 years, i realised that there are some people whom i just couldn't reach.

they are not interested to interact or participate. not that they are snobbish, it's just that they just don't bother. so,, is it fair that the money i spend does not benefit them? but it has to benefit "whole" as in,, as long as i could reach out to 50% of the company's staff strength,, it is a good job. i can't force unwilling people to come nor can i let them dictate my activities.

so i guess that's how i got things going. and i guess if i don't turn up at community events like this ala formula one go-cart thingy, it is not the fault of the government spending its budget consisting of money with good intention meant for me.

community 2

community 3

The Writing's on the Wall

brendan's father is eighty plus and is blind in the left eye

that does not stop him from painting and re-painting the walls in his house.

his new craze-of-the-moment is to have writings on the wall

the last time i showed you his mosaic art work, which is now gone.

he now has "how mary born jesus" story board on the wall

his make-shift display is of his family photos and the chapel i bought him many years ago

he is a little anti-government due to some grievances he has being a british soldier during WWII,

and he displays his sentiments with a malaysian flag in the hall.

i hope he doesn't get into trouble, he's an old man.

and i'm sure he's not the only guy feeling like this.

there are just so few of them left who would remember or would still talk about their

grievances. well, this man fought for our forefather's lives with his life.

what can we do for him now?

wall 2

wall 3

Polished Bike

I can bet with you this bike will look very different in a few weeks time.

It has gone from accessorized to bare and bare to accessorized countless of times.

Bren's father has a fetish for this. He could spend hours polishing the bike.

Is this Protest?

clothing 3

clothing 2

Clothing

i don't know why, but i like buying people clothing. i find it satisfying when they like them and look good and comfortable in themi didn't realize it but when i was doing my "de-grieving paint therapy" after my father passed on, i discovered that i paint many fabrics, down to those clothes he wore when i was a kid i could remember. and i was glad he liked the many shirts i bought him. many. does fabric has to do with anything close to our hearts?or is it the day-in-day-out wearing of the clothes that we grow to like? so, anyway, i am so glad i managed to find some suitable clothes for brendan's mom, tops with matching pants!not that i intended to match them but they matched!bren's mom is a stroke patient and has trouble putting on clothes. too big and she'll look sloppy, too small, she can't handle on her own. pants need elastic bands. not easy finding nice clothing for her hence i am happy i did. also bought some very sweet tops for joo joo. will post to her to surprise her.

Lizard Terror

I am terrified of Lizards and I think they like to terrorize me also.
I have a dozen horrifying stories like having a lizard rolling down my naked body while in a shower as well as pulling out a dried lizard, mistaking it for a piece of chocolate bear-shaped biscuit and putting it next to my lips. the only saving grace was that i didn't take a bite.

My colleagues know of my eeriness with that reptile and like to tell me their encounters.

Just now, Cathy told me that she went home to a lizard stuck on the surface of her wardrobe.
that area used to have a sticker and the lizard was stuck because there were residue of "stickness" from the sticker. the worst part of the story was that she removed the lizard with her bare hand (she is not afraid of lizards) and there was A LAYER OF SKIN FROM THE LIZARD STCUK ONTO THE STICKY AREA. followed by a nest of ants going for a feast on the lizard's skin. yuck yuck yuck.

did you know that rats are very intelligient?

scientists are only beginning to discover that rats are constantly learning and adjusting to any new threats or challeges in their way.

rats not only learn, they unwind their route in its memory and rewind it to store it in their memory. the next time, they will just zoom in to their target. (the experiment put electrods on the rats head to show brainwave activities, it displayed that the rats reverse their route to "success", have "elated moments" and unwind to the start point) they could even sense human's reaction. they could eat at ease in human's presence if that human is not a threat to them. they could hold their breath for 3 mins dive and could tread water for 3 days before they collapse from exhaustion. hence they could swim through sewage pipes and surface in your toilet bowl. they could sniff out saliva's from a person with disease at 100 samples per 10 mins while it would take the lab three days. they could detect mines from landmine which helps sweepers to ignite the bombs safely. their front teeth are constantly growing and they need to gnaw at stuff constantly. listen carefully-- they could open fridge doors. they could learn the technique to gnaw at the rubber side seals and push their way through. they send alarms to avoid poisoned food by "talking" about it in their high frequency pitches that are deaf to human. they also "talk" about the glorious good food in a whiff of their breath. they share about good food and are constanlty looking for new and better gourmet.

this is what i remeber from Discovery Science.